Okay, so I have had a bit of lapse in blogging here. Truthfully, I am not exactly sure why I am blogging. I am not looking for readers and I am a private person who is not know to broadcast her feelings or emotions on the web for all the world to see. But, there is something I love about typing/writing/blogging. It lets you express your emotions and chronicle events of your life. I am sure one day I will look back on all of this and smile.
I have found a really good running groove lately and have been able to slowly build my mileage….not sure what I am building for as it is too hot in Louisiana in the summer start training for any long distances. I keep contemplating a late fall/winter marathon but there are the basics that I am not sure about. Where do I even run 20+ miles in Baton Rouge? Who can I train with to help me stay motivated? Is hubby going to go crazy if I decide to do another marathon and turn into the sleepy, training junkie? Will I have enough energy and time to devote to my daughter. So, yes, I am still undecided but at a minimum, I want to do a half marathon by December. That seems like a lofty enough goal. For now, I just want to get to 20+ weekly mileage.
Lately, I have been feeling another sense of concern as a stay at home mom. I feel like I spend so much effort of my day/week just covering the basics that I never quite have time to tackle my lengthy to do list. Lately the basics involve laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, taking care of baby, taking care of dog, etc. There are so many other home projects to do that I feel like I don’t have the time or energy to tackle…I suppose I could if I wanted to work all the time but when you have a infant to tend to, you need some down time. Things like, working on the landscaping, organizing closets, painting the den, washing the car…etc. All things I need to do but never seem to fit in the schedule! I suppose every new parent must feel this way? Part of me imagined life as a stay at home mom would be full of trips to the dog park, museum visits, long walks around the lake. However, I seem to spend so much time and energy on the basics that I never quite make to such outings. I need to learn to balance and not get so bogged down in the basics that I can focus on some long term projects and fun outings for me and Miss Olivia.
Yesterday, I went to get a haircut and my mom watched Miss Olivia for an hour so I could go and relax at the salon. I needed a couple of items at the store so I decided to make a trip into the store before I went to pick her up. I forget how easy it is to get things done without a baby! It was so quick and simple to run in, purchase my items, unload the groceries, and be done! As I was waiting in line to checkout, I could not help but sympathize with the lady in front of me who was struggling to keep her three little kids focused and calm as she checked out. She murmured that she never has a moment of silence….yikes! I know this is the reality of having kids but I am seriously thinking that maybe two kids may be enough. Call me boring but I think I want to hold on to some sense of sanity during my thirties!
Anyway, this has just been on my mind lately. Perhaps when you are home all day with a little one it can get easy to get stuck in a rut and focus on this. However, despite the never-ending list of to-do’s, I still fill so grateful that I am able to have this time with my daughter. I feel so grateful to have this time to experience those magical moments with my daughter as she begins to explore this new world. It is priceless!