Well, first to recap my week of running:
- Monday: off
- Tuesday: easy six mile morning run (48:37/8:06 pace)
- Wednesday: 5.4 miles (43:07/7:59 pace) and 6 400s 1:45, 1:40, 1:41, 1:38 1:42, 1:38) at 5k pace, 1 mile cooldown.
- Thursday: off
- Friday: 5 miles: 1 mile warmup, 2X2ks @ 10k pace (8:53, 8:33), 1 mile cooldown
- Saturday: Vinyasa flow yoga (1:30 mins)
- Sunday: rest
Total: 16.4 miles
I was supposed to do a eight mile run this mornig but my foot/left shin has really been bothering me lately. Normally, the neurotic runner in me would keep running through it, but that is the mindset that left me injured for months last summer, and I figured a day or two off is much better than months off. So, I am trying to let my body heal. Instead, while my husband was off to work, I met my parents for mass and brunch afterwards. I needed this time to reflect and listen to the homily and to spend a day to rest and reflect, especially now that we are entering the lenten season.
Which brings me to my decision to give up reading blogs and gasp…facebook for lent. I originally planned on giving up blogs but after reading one of my favorite blots @ http://www.xapis.wordpress.com, I decided to give up facebook too. You see, I feel like to much of my free time is spent checking my phone for new posts, new status updates, new news. While I love reading about other people’s lives and hearing all that the running bloggies are accomplishing, I noticed that it was creating a quiet disconent for myself. I found myself comparing myself to other runners, moms, peers which led to what I can only describe as envy. And I don’t like the feeling of comparing myself to others, especially since we all have such different circumstances. I feel like I start focusing too much on what I don’t have or have not accomplished, instead of what I do have and have accomplished.
Lately, I have been feeling a little bored/burnout with my running and I think because I have been focusing too much on running certain times, certain distances, certain paces, etc. I spent years competing and putting pressure on myself and when I start creeping back into this mode I lose sight of the fact that I truly enjoy running just to run. Just to feel healthy and accomplished and know that I can go out for a run and do something healthy for myself!
I go back and forth between wanting to be this rock star runner that I know I could be if I put in lots of time and effort or just being content with experiencing the true joy of running, without putting pressure on myself to reach certain milestines. So, I think I will take this time for lent to step away from facebook and blogging and figure out what I truly want for myself, not what I think I should be based upon what my peers are doing. I need to decide what I want for my life as a mom, runner, friend, etc.